Life Long!
by Skyrimluva5
Summary: Okay so this story is sad and quite angsty :) Its Slash or Yoai. that's M/M relation ship ist rated M so that means there will be swearing and sex in it. PLEASE READ AND REVIEW :) Shepard/Ronan :)


**Life Long!**

Not many things could shake Shepard but this guy who they were trading with was an exception; he had piercing golden eyes, and quite dark skin he had yellowing teeth and a creepy grin. Vorlage was his name he was tall; like Ronan's height but he was bigger than Ronan in the weight department more like Rodney waist size; and he smelt terrible but they were potential trading partners to John bore with it.

Twenty Four Hours Later!

The SGA team stepped through the gate to Atlantis with Dr Weir late the next morning after a night of fun celebration; Teyla escaped to see her Husband and son, Rodney grumbled about a shower and left. Ronan wandered off and John followed Elizabeth to her office to finish the debriefing.

After leaving Elizabeth's office John walked quietly to his quarters were he peeled off his uniform; he stood in front of the mirror in his room and stared dark hand print shaped bruises covered his hips, stomach, back and thigh's.

A laceration on his left inner thigh; letter's carved into his skin (Vorlage); he shuddered as he remembered the cold hands roaming his body….. John rushed to his bathroom and vomited the contents of his stomach into the toilet. Left with only stomach acid he finally stopped dry heaving; slowly dragging himself up he wobbled over to the sink and stared at his face, all he saw was the weak frail stupid boy who let that happen.

Dark circles were around his eyes and his face was blank; he had dirt under his finger nail's and it covered his skin. All in all he looked like crap, not like his usual boyish happy go lucky self no he was a shadow of that man; he couldn't accept it had happened he had been…..r …r. He couldn't even bring himself to think that word; how was he supposed to lead his team, lead his marines after….. after that!

He shouldn't be the Military leader of Atlantis, he didn't deserve that position; he couldn't even protect himself from that… that man! He couldn't stop him as he took what he wanted from him…God! All John wanted to do was scrub the filth from his skin.

God how could he ever look Ronan in the eye every again; he loved the Setedan but how could he ever be good enough for him after what that man had done. Ronan and he had been together for nearly a year now, no one knew they weren't ready sure the Don't-Ask-Don't-tell policy had been revoked and you could be openly gay but neither were ready to reveal the nature of their relationship yet.

Stripping he climbed into his shower and turned the water on; it was hot against his tainted skin, he scrubbed violently at his skin everywhere trying to clean off the scent of that man.

Four Hours Later!

Ronan opened up his door when he heard the chime it revealed Rodney "What?" he questioned gruffly annoyed at his sleep being interrupted.

"It's Shepard his shower's been on for four hours and I tried to go see him but there's a security lock on the door" Rodney explained; "Dr Weir is going to open it up but she wants you there in case something happened".

Ronan was alert and had his gun at the ready within seconds; they got to Shepard's door "Okay ill open it and you go in first if it's clear call out and we'll come in" she explained.

The Setedan nodded and Elizabeth unlocked the door he entered the room; the door closing behind him with a soft hiss; his gun raised Ronan made his way to the bathroom where he couldn't hear the shower still running. His heart hammered in his chest at the possibilities of what could have happened to his love. Going closer he saw Shepard he looked so small; curled up into the corner of the shower stall, knees drawn to his chest and arms wrapped around his shins in a protective ball. He had bruises along his hips and thighs, they continued up he didn't know how far.

"Shepard?" he called uncertainly.

There was no movement or any form of recognition from the man; slowly walking forward Ronan noticed the shower had gone stone cold and probably would have been like that for hours now. Turning the water off he looked down at the shivering naked man in the corner; squatting down he put his gun away and reached out a hand to the shaking man's shoulder.

At the contact Shepard flinched away and his head shot up; his eyes were red rimmed with dark shadow's under them, there were cloudy and unfocused; he cringed and tried to curl further into himself and away from Ronan's touch.

"Shepard?" he tried again

His friends head slowly raised and he stared through unfocused eyes at the Setedan "Ronan" he croaked.

"I'll get Carson" Ronan murmured brows furrowed with worry and confusion; his heart beating fast in his chest at seeing the man he loved in such distress.

Shepard's hand shot out to grab at the back of Ronan's shirt "NO" he all but yelled!

Ronan stopped and turned to him "Why what's wrong?" he asked.

"Please don't get Carson" he pleaded; "Im fine really" he assured voice shaky.

Ronan's eyes narrowed "No you're not" he deadpanned, "You sick or something" he mumbled "Don't make me carry you out there Naked Shepard" he threatened.

Shepard flinched and curled more tightly in on himself "Please" he whispered voice breaking.

Ronan was worried "What's wrong?" he asked; he pulled Shepard up the smaller man gratefully leaned into his chest as Ronan wrapped a fluffy white towel around the smaller shaking body in his arms.

"I" Shepard started he couldn't do it; he couldn't tell Ronan what had happened; "Nothing im fine I just fell asleep" he ended.

Ronan scowled "Bullshit" he exclaimed using a common Earth terminology Shepard used; "Tell me the truth or I go get the Doc" he threatened.

John winced and pulled the towel further around himself; his shifting revealed the freshly cut V on his thigh; moving quickly Ronan knelt down and pulled the towel up. Usually Ronan would win against Shepard easily but apparently the smaller man was quicker this time; moving and not letting Ronan see.

"Get off" Shepard gritted out.

Ronan's eyes narrowed "What is that" he asked although he was fuming at the very thought it could be what he thought it was.

"Nothing" Shepard hissed.

Ronan growled dangerously and did the only thing he could think of; he grabbed the towel and ripped it off; Shepard yelped and tried to cover himself but Ronan's eyes widened and he gaped at the bruises marring his lover's body. His jaw clenched when he saw the name carved into Shepard's thigh; the wound nasty and jagged; it had to be painful!

"What did he do?" he hissed; looking up his heart dropped into his stomach at seeing tear's trickle down Shepard's cheeks; he was trying to hide his face and stop the sobs that wracked his lithe frame but to no avail they just continued.

Ronan sighed and sat up next to the fragile man "Shepard" he murmured softly; reaching out a hand he expected it to be flinched away from and it was, but he ignored that flinch and pulled the sobbing man into his arms.

So there he was with a naked, abused Shepard curled up in his lap sobbing; Ronan didn't know what to do. Obviously Shepard didn't want everyone to know and that's why he was so insistent that no one came in; but Ronan really didn't know what to do in this situation.

"Shepard" he tried again; slowly the sobbing stopped and the fragile man looked up.

"Ronan" he asked weakly.

The Setedan nodded "Im here" he murmured gently pushing a lock of hair from the man's forehead "Im not going to leave you" he assured; gently he pressed a soft kiss to the shaking man's forehead.

Shepard sniffled and nodded softly "Good" he mumbled.

The smaller man eventually fell asleep; Ronan sighed and gently picked up the human placing him softly in his bed he covered him up. Okay so no one really needed to know about this accept him, Carson, Dr Weir, Teyla and McKay; he needed the Doc to look at that wound on Shepard's thigh; he had to tell Dr Weir and McKay and Teyla would want to know what happened.

Quickly leaving the room he was met with an anxious, Rodney, Elizabeth, Teyla and Carson; "Is he okay?" Elizabeth asked immediately.

"Yeah he's asleep" Ronan muttered; "Doc I think you should come back in with me" he added.

Everyone looked unhappy at the vagueness but nodded; Carson followed Ronan back into the dark room "He's got some really bad bruises on him, and a nasty laceration on his inner left thigh" he explained the wounds.

Carson nodded and walked over pulling back the sheet away from the top half of Shepard's body seeing the bruises he gasped "Ronan these are".

"Handprints" the Setedan cut him off.

Carson nodded; "What happened to him?" he asked.

Ronan grit his teeth "I don't know for sure" he replied; "But I think that man Vorlage did something bad to him".

Carson nodded and sighed "I'll give him a sedative so I can work without him waking up" he explained.

Ronan nodded looking out the window; Carson gave John the needle and set to work he pulled the covers off of the man's body and his eyes watered at the sight.

Gently he pushed John's legs apart and touched the jagged, freshly made cut (Vorlage) carved angrily into the man's soft skin. There was stretching and bruising along his entrance; Carson gasped at the realisation!

"What?" Ronan murmured he still wasn't looking; choosing instead to stare out the window; his jaw was clenched waiting for the Doc to confirm what his brain was screaming at him had happened; but his heart pleaded for it not to be.

Carson grit his teeth "Im afraid I can't tell you lad" he answered in his Doctor voice.

"He was raped" Ronan replied his voice hard as stone. Carson didn't confirm it as much as he choked back a sob; Ronan was on his feet and striding away within seconds.

Carson didn't follow or call out he didn't know what was going through the big man's head right now but he sure hoped no one got in the giants way; he set his mind instead to tending to the injured and assaulted man before him.

Ronan stomped down the hallways; Teyla had followed him as he strode away he went straight to the gate room "Ronan" Teyla called for the tenth time.

He didn't listen "Dial" he instructed the scientist sitting at the gate controls "I want the planet we last visited" he growled.

The man looked terrified "Im s, so sorry sir I c cant dial w with o out perm permission" he stuttered.

Ronan growled angrily and pulled out his gun "NOW" he barked aiming at the man's head.

"RONAN" Teyla screamed rushing over; he didn't budge; "Security to the gate room" they heard someone say in the background.

The man's eyes had begun to water "Teyla" he croaked.

"Ronan please put the gun down Jarred did nothing wrong" Teyla pleaded.

But he didn't listen "DIAL" he yelled.

Jarred complied dialling the gate and watching as he ran down; Lorne and four security officers were standing in front of the event horizon "You know we can't let you go Ronan" Lorne said firmly but his eyes were pleading with Ronan to stop.

"Get out of my way" Ronan responded.

Lorne raised his stun gun "Ronan please" he asked again.

Ronan's eyes narrowed "Move" he repeated; he wouldn't let anyone get in his way to get the man who hurt his…. Yes his Shepard!

"Take him down boys" Lorne instructed.

Ronan scowled and rushed setting his gun to stun the marines were no match for him; he stunned them all and ran straight through the gate.

Teyla watched as the event horizon dissipated Ronan was gone; Elizabeth came rushing in "Who just went through the gate?" she demanded.

"Ronan" Teyla replied robotically still staring at the giant ring.

Elizabeth's brows furrowed "Why?" she questioned.

"I don't know" Teyla responded as they both stared.

It was a few hours later when Carson was completely finished with fixing up all the injuries on their Colonel's heavily abused body. Elizabeth had been informed as to his injured; Carson had held her as she cried.

Teyla and Rodney still had to been told what happened but sent with Lorne and a marine to the planet where Ronan had gone. While they were there they were told that Ronan had come through several hours earlier and taken Vorlage away through the gate; Teyla, Rodney and Lorne didn't know why but Ronan was basically AWOL; and had kidnapped a potential trading partner too.

Shepard still hadn't woken up; when the gate suddenly activated and Ronan's voice came over the com's "Dr Weir" he asked his voice flat.

"Ronan" she replied; "Where have you been? Where is Vorlage?" she commanded him to answer.

Ronan was silent for a long time "He's dead" he replied "Can I come home?" he asked.

Elizabeth was torn; one half of her was so delighted in hearing that the evil man had been killed, which in its self-terrified her but the other half was scared as to how Ronan had killed him.

"Yes" her voice was unsteady as the connection cut and Ronan stepped through the gate.

He stepped through and his gun was taken; he conceded allowing them to take it and handcuff him willingly; he was covered in blood some his own some most definitely not since it was a green/blue colour.

Teyla, Elizabeth, Rodney and Lorne all went to see him in the holding cell's; "Ronan why?" Teyla pleaded.

The Setedan didn't answer for a long time; they were beginning to think he wouldn't when he finally spoke "He deserved it" was his only answer.

"How? Why" Lorne asked with wide eyes.

Ronan's jaw was clenched "Has Shepard woke up yet" he asked ignoring Lorne's questions.

"No" Elizabeth replied.

Ronan nodded "Then I have nothing to say" he ended by closing his eyes and lying back on the floor.

Rodney looked like he was ready to cry; one of his friends was deeply wounded apparently and now another had apparently gone insane and killed someone.

"Come on Dr McKay" Teyla soothed taking the shaking man away.

Elizabeth waved Lorne away who left stiffly; "Ronan" she breathed. He didn't reply; "I know why you did it but….." she trailed off.

"Come see me again when Shepard wakes up" Ronan grunted.

Elizabeth sighed and left knowing she would never get the man to answer.

Twenty Four Hours Later!

Carson had been sitting by Shepard's side the entire time he had been informed as to what Ronan had done and was disturbed by the big man's decision; yes there was a small part of him that was happy the cruel man was dead but he couldn't help the tingle of fear that crawled up his spine knowing Ronan could do something like that without any remorse.

Hazel eyes fluttered open and blinked away the blur in his vision; Shepard looked around the medical bay finding the soothing face of Carson by his bed checking over his vitals'.

"Hi Doc" he croaked; god he sounded awful.

Carson snapped down to look at him "Lad" he breathed loudly "Your awake" he added with a small smile.

"Yeah" John croaked; Carson helped him sip some water; it felt great on his sore throat; he looked around and found Elizabeth, Rodney and Teyla all asleep around the room; his brows furrowed "Where's Ronan" he asked.

Carson tensed "Big man was here earlier" he said vaguely.

"Hey Doc" John asked; Carson looked at him noticing the nervous fidgeting of the man's hands; it reminded him of a small boy, "So you know what happened then" he whispered almost brokenly.

Carson nodded "Yes Lad I was the one who treated all your injuries; I tried to respect your privacy as much as I could; no nurses just me" he tried to console the now shaking man.

"Privacy" John said bitterly; "I think I lost that when I let that man do what he did" he hissed.

Carson took a side glance at John's heart monitor noticing the rapid and irregular beat "Now, now lad please calm down I don't want you hyperventilating on me" she soothed.

John's  
breathing calmed and he looked up with glassy eyes "Where is Ronan now?" he repeated his question. Carson tensed again this time John noticed; "What happened?" he demanded.

"I don't have all the details" Carson began; "But after he brought me to your room he apparently threatened a young scientist, stunned four marine's; left Atlantis and returned hours later covered in blue/green blood declaring he had killed Vorla…." He stopped abruptly as he saw John flinch and his lower lips tremble at almost hearing the name.

"He was tossed in a holding cell" he added.

John snapped up to stare at him "What?" he hissed; "Take me there now" he demanded.

Carson's brows furrowed "I don't think that's a good idea lad; I had to operate on you" he added.

"Carson NOW" John ordered.

Carson sighed "I'll get the wheelchair stay put" he instructed walking away.

Ten minutes later Carson and Shepard arrived at the door to Ronan's cell; Lorne was talking to the guard outside; "Colonel" he said saluting "It's good to see you sir" he added.

"I need to see Ronan" John replied tiredly.

Lorne looked hesitant "He killed a civilian sir" he murmured unsure.

"Now Major" Shepard replied more firmly this time; Lorne nodded with a respectful 'yes sir' and let him and Carson in.

Ronan was lying on the floor flat on his back arms behind his head and eyes shut; Carson wheeled John right up to the edge and step back, "Ronan" John called.

The Setedan's eyes snapped open and he sat up quickly moving over to see John's tired face through the bar's and force field; "Shepard" he murmured scanning his lover's slouched defeated posture; he looked a better colour now, god all he wanted to do was hold that precious man in his arms.

"What did you do?" John asked tiredly.

Ronan's eyes hardened "He hurt you" he growled "He deserved it".

"Ronan" John breathed longing to be able to hug his lover; with a tired sigh "Carson open the door" he murmured.

Carson stiffened "With all due respect Lad im not allowed" he replied.

"For god sake Doc" Shepard growled; "Ronan doesn't belong behind this cage door" he yelled; Lorne rushed in.

"Sir" he asked worried for his superior officer.

John reeled on him "Open it" he instructed.

"Sir" he protested.

John had, had enough "NOW" he bellowed; glaring at Lorne as if daring him to argue.

Lorne did as he was told stiffly; the door slid open Ronan was up and over to Shepard within seconds; he knelt and stared at those watery hazel eyes, during that silence it was decided between them they didn't care if the others knew. Gently Ronan leant in and kissed John's forehead; they both heard Carson and Lorne's gasps but neither cared.

"Ronan" John whimpered; his lips trembling and tears threatening to cascade over his soft cheeks.

The Setedan was distraught at seeing John liked this; he stood and carefully lifted John into his arms he heard Carson telling him to put his patient down but he didn't listen. Ronan just set off walking his love in his arms; those thin arms wrapped around his neck, and that familiar cold nose pushed up against his collar bone as he carried John back to his room.

Arriving at the Setedan's room he carefully laid his love down on the bed; lying beside the crying man he cradled him gently against his chest and soothed him by whispering soft words in his ear.

Carson and Lorne both stood shocked at the scene they had just witnessed; that was not the connection between two team mates, or even two friends that was something special between to lovers. How long had this been going on, how they had not known; did they love each other; why didn't they tell anyone; so many questions and no answers.

Three Hour Later!

Carson waved his hand in front of the door sensor to Ronan's room; the large Setedan man opened it and sighed "Hi Doc" he murmured allowing the Carson to come inside.

Carson smiled softly at the picture Shepard currently made; he was sleeping peacefully in Ronan's bed, all covered by thick fury blanket's, curled slightly to what must have been the spot where Ronan had been lying.

"How's he been?" Carson asked.

Ronan sighed sitting down heavily at the foot of the bed; "Wakes up every twenty minutes or so cause of nightmares" he mumbled.

Carson nodded "You okay Big man?" he asked as he scanned over the sleeping Colonel.

"Im fine deal with John" the Setedan replied.

Carson blinked that had been the first time that he had heard Ronan call Shepard, John it was nice hearing it off the big man "So?" Ronan asked moving back over next to his lover.

"He's healing the best we can imagine" Carson replied "Would do better in the Medical bay" he narrowed his eyes.

Ronan sighed "Doesn't like it; prefers to stay here" he explained "More comfortable" he added with a shrug.

Carson nodded as he sat down; a heavy silence fell between the pair "So?".

"I love him" Ronan admitted bluntly.

Carson's eyes brows shot up; "Okay" he murmured "Does anyone know" he inquired?

"Well no one actually but now you and Lorne" Ronan replied.

Carson was about to reply when John started to whimper; "No…. please… stop no….. please" he pleaded as he trembled.

Ronan was by his side in an instant "Shhh, John wake up please" he whispered.

John's hazel eyes flew open and he gasped "Ronan" he whimpered.

"Im here John, im here" Ronan assured pulling the fragile man into his arms; John curled into Ronan burying his face in the crook of his neck.

Carson felt his heart break as he watched the confident, lively and commanding Colonel John Shepard dissolve into sobs as he clutched at Ronan like a life line.

Ronan didn't even acknowledge that Carson was still there as he murmured his words over and over again; "Im here, he can't hurt you, im here, he's gone, don't worry, your safe, im here, ill protect you, I've got you, im here" he repeated them like a mantra as he dropped soft kissed to John's messy raven hair.

Carson's felt a single tear roll down his cheek; eventually John calmed but remained curled into Ronan, "Sorry Doc" he whispered once noticing that Carson was there.

"Oh lad" Carson breathed "Don't ever say ye'r sorry" he whispered.

John smiled weakly "I want Ronan to be left alone" he croaked.

"I'll talk to Elizabeth lad" Carson assured.

The pair nodded and the Doctor left with the knowledge his patient was safe in the arms of someone who would never allow harm to come to him.

**Okay so I really hope you guys liked the first part of my story :) PLEASE REVIEW :)**


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